Posts filed under ‘funny’

the mind of a child

Discussing how the “ejection seat” in my car works…

Patrick: So the roof slides back?
Me: No, it just shoots off. *whoosh gesture* Haven’t you guys seen Top Gun?
Michael: No but we saw Goldmember!
Me: …what does that have to do with Top Gun? What is it with kids? ‘Have you seen This Movie?’ *slightly dopey higher pitched voice* ‘No but I’ve seen Totally Unrelated Movie! Have you seen Totally Unrelated Movie? What about Other Totally Unrelated Movie? I saw it three times! But not as many times as I saw Yet Another Totally Unrelated Movie! I saw that movie TEN TIMES! In the THEATER!
Michael: In 3D!

May 1, 2011 at 6:35 pm Leave a comment

the death of the iPhone: a rant by anna m. younce

Xanna -MelindraX- says (11:56 PM) i’ve never liked a single apple product i’ve used. i come across way too many instances of “HOW THE HELL DO I GET IT TO DO THIS VERY SIMPLE TASK”

Continue Reading April 30, 2011 at 12:18 am 5 comments

one man’s junk

“I want to have the desire with me so we can get to know each to her better and see what happened in the future.”

Continue Reading April 13, 2011 at 9:48 am 2 comments

do you remember

Do you remember that time / Do you remember those days / And all the ways we used to entertain ourselves / Wasting hours on the games we played

Continue Reading February 19, 2011 at 12:27 pm Leave a comment

horrorscopes & 5 day forecast

“I was part of the Journalism team that put out the San Pasqual Sentinel. The paper pretty much sucked and it was rare that we were motivated enough to make it worth reading, but when the April Fools’ edition rolled around, we made sure to have fun with it.”

Continue Reading January 27, 2011 at 11:19 pm 2 comments

where do i sign?

“The fact they said Personal instead of Personnel bothered me, and I started skimming long before they began leaving a space between words and punctuation, then skipped to the end whereupon I properly guffawed.”

Continue Reading December 18, 2010 at 2:34 am 1 comment

things to do before i die

“I decided that when I quit, I would get a cart and fill it to overflowing — half with shoes and half with butter — and leave it in Pets. Go ahead and take a moment to let that sink in.”

Continue Reading August 10, 2010 at 1:10 am Leave a comment

spiders, lizards and mutant grasshoppers

“What if my house is overrun with ants coming and going seemingly from and to nowhere, but completely unbeknownst to me, fricken bug Armageddon is going on outside?”

Continue Reading July 2, 2010 at 2:15 am 2 comments

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